I've recently been pondering the definition of patient. Here is what the dictionary has to say:
patient - bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like.
That is good and all, pretty straightforward, but what about more complex scenarios? I can be patient in traffic, I can be patient even while I'm late and waiting for a bus, but do I need to be patient when it comes to going after the things in life that I want most right now?
Here's the deal. I'm in school now, again, and again there is something that is drawing my attention else where. I know I just heard someone yell, "Teach the boy some discipline!" but I'm not listening to whoever that was. I'm in school and I think I want to be blowing glass in Eugene for the next year but lo and behold it interferes with my continuing education. Or does my education interfere with my glass blow apprenticeship? I can't trust my own judgment; it has been too altered by society, pushing and shoving me down the chute labeled 'uneducated youth.' I feel like the deepest part of myself is screaming, "Get out of there!" Or perhaps, as some people are prone to remind me from time to time, I'm a bit lazy, marginally undisciplined, and more focused on enjoying myself than getting my work done. Well, yeah, what else should I be focusing on?
That might sound selfish and self-indulgent but I'm serious, if I'm not working towards the enjoyment of life then I don't really understand what all the hubbub is about. No Mr. You-aren't-looking-at-the-big-picture and Mrs. You-aren't-fulfilling-your-potential, I don't want to keep my nose to the grindstone right now. Now there comes that moment where I ask myself why I don't just get up, drop off my academic suspension, and thumb a ride to greener pastures. Because I'm scared. It is scary to go against what nearly everyone to whom I propose my dreams tells me: stick it out. Be patient, the dreams will come. This excludes the believers among you, you know who you are ;).
I have to wonder, am I trying to follow a more righteous path? Or am I just trying to avoid what has to be done? After all, everyone knows what a diploma is, and if you have one, the world considers you intelligent.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
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